Yoyo, you made me laugh (WAP). H has texted D15 a few times but she refuses his attempts. She cut him off at the knees like he did to us. H is truly obsessed with the OW. Reality has not set in yet and he really is in the fog -- deep. Always praying he will have an awakening. Was your H so deep in the fog in the beginning?
I do not think H and OW will be employed much longer. I am relieved I exposed when I did because now it seems others have been talking about it also. So I covered myself and did the right thing before it all hits the fan.
One day at a time.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Well tomorrow I should be receiving text from H about "who is my atty". Not sure if I should just not respond or let the sheriff chase me with the papers. Really hate this idea of divorce. H always says "this is my choice", what happened to my choice.
D15 came home with migraine...again.. Making doctor's appt for her. I know most of it is from stress from all of this nonsense. I feel for her. H has not seen her in over a month -- her choice. Sometimes I wonder if it is making it easy for him. No responsibilities of the house, family, dog -- just hang out with OW, drink and go out. Of course I am sure he figures his responsibilites are met because he writes that check every 2 weeks.
Gee did I take my "bitter pill" today?
At work, I can see that the climate has changed. No one asks about H. It must be the worst kept secret there. Either the company is investigating and word is getting around or the rumor mill is working overtime. I am giving it till the end of the week and I don't see any progress from mgmt I need to move it up the line.
It is such a stressful time waiting for the official D papers and having to act on them and waiting for work exposure to hit the fan. Everyone keeps telling me how strong i am. I feel like I am crashing. Some days this board brings me the only comfort I know.
Thanks to everyone that checks in on us that are struggling.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
((((Hope))))) I'm glad you checked in with us. Wish things were going smoother for you. Sorry to hear about DD, I think the dr. app't is a good idea. The WAS doesn't realize or let's say buries their heads when it comes to the feelings of the kids. I remember my H saying it's not about the girls, I'll always love them. How can it not be about the kids?!!! Their life as they know it has came tumbling down.
We're all here for you to vent to and give you a "virtual shoulder" to cry on. I couln't have made it these past couple of years without my support group on here.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
{{{{{yoyo}}}}} virtual hug. thanks for stopping by.
I just made a doctor's appt for D15 for migraines. Need to get her on the road to recovery. She is my #1 priority. Sad part is that is not the case with H. He is just waiting to see what happens and avoids the situation.
No text from him as of yet for atty. Maybe if he sees that I am not providing name he will just serve me. One day at a time, one breathe at a time. Can't believe we have gotten to this place. I went to the civil cases on line and saw the filed papers. Wanted to see if he applied for civil papers to be served. No documents filed for it yet. I also found the M and D papers for OW. She was married twice and divorced. Also she applied for a THIRD marriage license but it looks like she never married him. Love all these free public records.
How are you doing. I sent email last week. Any new developments or H is still detaching again and again. At least he at least making an effort. Unlike my H.
Take care. Will keep you posted.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Well I finally actually slept last night for a full 7 hours. I think that is the first time I have slept that long since all of this has happened. I don't even think I have bags under my eyes this morning!
H talked to D28 last night and "casually" asked her if I had mentioned anything about getting an attorney. D tells him "Mom doesn't want to talk about you anymore, it was too upsetting so we don't bring your name up anymore". Think it threw H for a loop that we don't spend our days obsessing over him.
Told another friend at work that H left me and is having an A. She asked who, but I told her I rather not say. (If an investigation is going on I do not want to interfere in any way that Company thinks I am trying to influence employees). But I did say she is not young and my H used to be such an ethical guy. Enough to try and put the obvious pieces together. There is one more today that I am going to try and talk to. Plays golf sometimes with H.
Trying to hold off official D papers till work exposure is revealed because it will take the focus off of D and have them scrambling to get new jobs.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hi Hope, I swear our stories are so parallell. I too remember not being able to sleep. I had terrible bags under my eyes. Just remember time does help.
As far as the golf buddy I'm not sure I would mention it to him. First of all it's best not to get too many people involved. Second of all you really don't know who you can trust not to run and tell your H everything you confide in them, especially if it is the WAS's friend. Thirdly, if this friend does take your side and tris to "talk" some sense into your H, H will only resent you and the friend.
If you have a good friend you can vent to, that's the best thing to do. I had a couple of friends who were angels to me and I don't know what I would have done without them.
I'm not saying not to "out" you H, but be very careful who you talk to. Some people are very supportative and concerned, but others just like the "gossip".
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
good to hear from you. I have outed H to 2 friends at work. First said he moved out in Oct and said he was having a MLC and everything that went with. This friend said he heard rumors.
I am going to tell the golf friend but just that we had broken up. Not say anything about OW. It has been too comfortable at work for H and OW with me basically protecting them. Those days are over.
It really hurts that they are carrying on like this. I don't know if H will ever give her up. With her track record she might give up on him first. Say a prayer.
How is everything going with you? any progress. take care.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Felt my D15 had a really good day. Told her she could have friends over for superbowl, ended up with about 15 kids in the house. Ordered pizza, soda, made brownies -- all the kids had a great time.
My D15 was relaxed and happy. First time in a long time that she was smiling and making jokes and just being a teenager. All the kids were cheering and making jokes and at half time they were dancing in the living room. I enjoyed watching them all.
Not sure what tomorrow will bring waiting for the D papers but for today it was all good. How could H miss all of this? Our D15 is growing up day by day and I almost feel sorry for him that he is missing all of this. I need to keep making good memories for her.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hope, So glad to hear that your DD is feeling better. I too have always enjoyed having my DD17's friends around. They took my mind off everything and it made her happy to have them there. I also look at it this way, when they are hanging out with me, I know where they are and what they are doing. I totally agree that your H is missing out on your DD. Sad, they don't realize that until it's tool late.
Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers!
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Hi yoyo, just posted on your sitch. I totally agree having the kids at my house I can observe them and what they are up to.
Found out from D28 that H is now on AD. I am glad but if he continues to drink it will be bad for his health. Of course the benefit of taking the AD he is on is that it could cause reduced libido! lol OW will HATE that.
Do you worry about when your kids will be out of the house and being alone? It is such a fear of mine, especially living so far from my family. This A started in june 07,with H moving out in Oct, with no end in site right now. I keep praying all day for God to soften his heart. Having no contact right now is better for me so I can preserve my love for him. I pray at some point he misses me. By removing myself from their drama, what else can they talk about and take away more of their fantasy being together and everything being perfect.
We will keep praying for each other.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
