Being Me, I too will remember you in my prayers. My advice is don't DB right now, deal with your health issue. First things first. Keep in mind what H is doing for you, don't analyze his commitment etc right now. When we're under stress we can make all sorts of what may be faulty reasoning seem plausible. I know when I'm down with a cold or the flu somehow it seems like the right time to navel gaze about my life and it always seems sh!tty somehow! Who'd of thunk it But when I'm on the mend much of what I saw so negatively before just takes on a whole new light. Now, I know you've had these ideas about hubby before, they aren't new but now is not the time for analysis etc, now is the time to take care of you and get rid of these darn seizures. Go with that for now, it's enough!