hey hon, I was in the same position when I learned of stbx's live in gf. I get the feeling of powerlessness, our kids was an area we at least felt some control and having the knuckleheads subject them to the ow's is pretty distressing.
Sadly, that woman will be in your d12's life, you can't stop that and for you and your d'sake you have to accept it. My s10's C told me that he was in tune with my feelings, that as long as he felt I was ok he would be ok.
About custody you need to be very careful, she does need her father even if he is a looser. It is hard to know when to step in, but at some degree it is his R with her that will suffer.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
