Every time I read your posts I read about your pain, what she is doing to hurt you. As long as you keep focusing there, it is going to keep hurting, and your actions are not going to help it get better. I'm guessing she has some hurting going on. It might not be a bad idea to let her work through that. And maybe, to examine yourself, and see what you might have done to cause it. And I don't mean just the name calling.
You are also assuming that everthing she is doing is in reaction to you. It is actually possible that she may not be doing things to get back at you, or because she is mad at you. You are seeing eveything through your eyes, and looking at how it makes you feel. In a way (don't take this wrong) you are seeing things like a four year old. Anything anyone does is about you. It might not be.
Your coach told you to tell her it hurts. They didn't tell you that would "work", and that your W would never take the actions anyway. You are trying to control her, no matter how you spin it. And she most likely doens't like that.
I think it is a good time to be very quiet, and let her get through what she is feeling without getting in the way. And accept that your feelings come from you, and not from her.
