Haven't you heard?! We made PoePad our spokesperson on the "We don't get it! " platform. Just goshin...
Quoting talitsa: I expect him to understand what I'm talking about when I talk AROUND an issue.
Sounds like your both guilty of that. When he first mentioned wanting to keep the PO box, he coulda included he intended to do so as a temporary thing ... you know just mention, "...its just for a short while."
talitsa, I'm so impressed with the outcomes of your confrontations. While they may start off a little patchy, the outcome always seems to turn out with each understanding the other's POV. I have to admit, I'm a bit envious of you. This has been a basic point of struggle for CAW & me and I'm afraid we are no closer to overcoming this hurdle.
Quoting talitsa: He said it sounded like I was being controlling when I asked those questions ... He said that had been pretty disrespectful and CONTROLLING of him.
It sounds to me that each is perceiving the other's reaction of defensiviness as controlling. That could be used a "red flag". If one feels the other's reaction is a controlling one, take a moment to ask yourself, "Did I just trigger one of those stimuli ... some sort of "hot button or defensive responses?" It your conclusion doesn't stike upon something obvious, maybe then you could ask may express the question verbally in order to avoid making a wrong assumption.
Anyway, hang in there. Each time discussions of this level have such a positve outcome, you make more comfortable and easier to maintain this level. When it becomes easier at opeining up the lines of communication like this, there will be less of those "nasty" assumptions and negative triggers.
For someone labeled as a "borderline recluse", your H seems to be doing a pretty good job of making an effort to reach out to better understand you and how his actions affect you.
) 
Just goshin...
