You're NOT bumming anyone out. In fact, some of us can commiserate with you 100%. DBing is absolutely an excellent tool BUT I firmly believe that WE have to set our boundaries or WE can't live very well with ourselves.
How many concessions do WE have to make in order for them to 'trust us' again. The very thought of them 'trusting' us seems like a paradox, hell, we're NOT the ones who created this hell with selfish, misguided thinking and deeds.
Maybe I'm to foolishly proud, maybe I've always been and that has helped create an unhealthy marriage...but I cannot allow myself to be complacent solely for my Hs benefit.
He's hurt? He's in pain? He's confused? What? Have I been on the good ship lolipop the past 14 months having a blast? I don't think so.
I am willing to be the 'initiator' in this trip down reconciliation lane BUT I will not be the only one rowing this boat forever. My H, and yours, will eventually have to grab one of the oars and help out equally or our own survival instincts will kick in and we'll be throwing them out of the boat completely and replacing the 'oars' with a new motor. (and that's not to suggest another MAN, I mean that we will find a way through life without them.)
In the back of my mind, I have a time limit. I am firm in my resolve to abide by that time frame for may own sake. Unknown to my H, his time will be up in about another 5 weeks. If he hasn't ASKED to come home before our anniversary in Oct....he won't have that option the day after. T2
