Oh yeah, forgot to say... H has someone covering his shift this weekend so he can have some vacation time. I can't remember the last time we had two weekends in a row together.
He got his official "You a hereby retired" letter from the military so we no longer have to worry about him being reactivated from active reserve status.
He had two job interviews today at a hospital where Butt-Ugly woman does not work. I'm hoping they will offer him something reasonable (nothing "on call").
Quoting talitsa: If I'm looking for what I'd like to hear, I will often be dissappointed. If I'm looking for all the ways that I'm told things in a nonverbal way, there is plenty to see.
Yup, yup, yup. I can totally relate to this. That's what drove my "3 positives a day"....
Sage
PS You mean I'm not gonna get the "you are the strongest and most wonderful woman in the world for putting up with the last year" speech??????????? Harumph.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
That is a good agreement to have--cooling off period. Would certainly need one of those policies if H and I ever get under one roof again! I need to learn to let him cool before pressing an issue.
Wolfie and I spent the weekend together. It was pretty low-key.
He seemed pretty unhappy. Lot's of serious-face & sighing and more quiet than I've seen for awhile. I asked if he was grumpy and he said, "always".
In the past, when he acted like this, I would have taken it very personally and assumed that he was angry with me.
He talked to me about what was going on, and that helped. He said he'd woken up being mad at the world and hating people and wanting to just be alone. He said he often just wakes up feeling like that, and every little thing frustrates and irritates him. Usually it lasts just a day, but sometimes it lasts several days. The only thing that seems to help when he gets like that is to be alone with very little stimulus.
He says his therapist tells him that the closest she can come to a "diagnosis" is that he's a borderline recluse (?), that he's getting more and more that way with age, and that it wouldn't take too much to push him over the edge into fullblown recluse mode.
Personally, I think Wolfie is suffering from clinical depression and that some days are worse than others. He promised me he'd make an appt. with the Dr. and actually get the perscription filled this time. I hope he carries through.
Actually, I AM a little worried about what his Therapist said. It makes me wonder if nothing I do or don't do makes much difference. It also makes me wonder if it even matters if we love each other, work on our R, or anything else, because in the end, he may just not be able to live with other people.
Oh yeah, there was part of the weekend that wasn't low-key. S16 went with his Search and Rescue team to clear and sift through a Green River Killer "dump site" that was recently found. They did find some things. I wanted to brush him off before he came back in the house, but he got embarrassed because his friend was there so I only got to smudge his room.
Borderline Recluse????? Tal that is NOT a recognized psychiatric diagnosis!
The closest thing I can think of is Schizoid personality disorder...in this one, the person just doesn't get anything out of social relationships...they tend to be life-long loners by choice. Only rarely do they form long term relationships.
They tend to choose solitary jobs, and are really deficient in emotional responses, good and bad, in social situations. It's the diagnosis the Unabomber got!
Well damn, Shiney--I don't think he's Schizoid either, and I know she can't possibly mean that he's a Borderline personality disorder either. But, yeah--she told him borderline recluse and said most people with a MMPI like his go into jobs like FBI or whatever, but usually work alone or with another loner-kind of partner. Surprisingly, as much as he doesn't much like being around people alot, he's chosen people-oriented work.
What the heck would you call that funk he gets into and the extreme need for solutude? I think depression is part of it, but not all.
I wish I had a better idea of what is the problem, because we really have to deal with this in some kind of realistic way. I was even thinking of constructing some kind of sensory deprivation chamber out in the garage--and I'm not joking.
I am not extremely worried that he'll go out and cheat again. I think a far more likely scenario is that he'd go out for smokes one day and never return. I could see him building some tiny cabin up on the mountain and rarely coming down. Ugh--now that DOES sound like the Unibomber.
