So push it! Why should she get everything the way she wants it. The kids need a neutral C, and taking them to hers is certainly not the best thing.
Right now your W seems to think she can get away with anything. The more you make her realize that just isn't the truth, the better for all involved(though it may not seem that way right away). And as far as your wife's C, I don't see how it has helped her in any way, she seems even more unstable if that is possible.
Hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory