Exposing at EA

[Still Waters]

Hey WP, by "hurt her back" do you mean that you had an affair to get revenge? The thought certainly crossed my mind, but I decided against it. I'm trying to take the high road here, but I admit that it was tempting. I think that revenge is a natural reaction when you've been hurt, and not everyone is strong enough to repress that urge and do the right thing. It actually takes more strength than I thought I had in me to take the high road like I have. But so far, so good.

I've completely stopped snooping and have been GAL big time. Part of me laying down this boundary and detaching was to force myself to GAL and worry about me for a change. Because I spent the past few months worrying all about her and what I could do to make her happy and fix this. Of course that was when I didn't know about the EA and what I was up against.

So I'm not going to say or do anything that completely shuts the door. I'm just letting her know that I'm not going to keep spinning my wheels with her as long as this OM is in the picture. If she wants to really commit to seeing if we can make this work, then I'm here. But I'm NOT going to be here if I'm between her and the OM.

As for the legal separation aspect, that's for my own peace of mind. I'm not the kind of guy who can go on for a couple years in this limbo world, and I need to be fully prepared for any outcome. I'd hate to be in this separation for a year or so only to have to go through another full year of legal separation before things are final (the state I live in requires a year of legal separation before you can file for a no-fault divorce). She also needs to see that while I am ready to work through this, I'm also ready to move on with my life without her.