the place I am at......I need advise

[itsy]

Journaling

was going to start a new thread but it continues here...
had all the kids and mom over for dinner had a real nice time. I love getting together with them..I am in a much better place than I have ever been. Son32 said he liked where I was in my life... at least they are noticing that I have changed. They have not been too supportive of me during this whole process.
I miss understood S32 about Ex getting together. he wanted to get togehter with kids also... not with me. Son said that maybe in June at a family birthday for his son that we could see each other.
It did not include me. I was not disappointed. All my kids say that I am not ready yet...Almost everyone agrees with that so I will follow their advise. I do not want to meet with him anyway. Son 32 stayed late after everyone left and talked to me about Ex.

The OW has moved in...apparently she moved in last November...but noone as usual tells me. I do not like the fact that my family likes to keep things from me..they feel that they are protecting me and really they are not. it's better if they would just tell me these things so that I can deal with it...but they don't get it. S32 and I talked a long time about the divorce and what has been going on and I wish that my family would all speak to me about it but S24 and d27 will not talk to me about Ex or anything related to ex and me. I think that they think that I will fall apart like I used to with what EX did, but I have moved so far from that place that I used to be that I feel that they should tell me me things that are related to me that I can deal with them and move on.I do not want Ex back. He has changed into someone that I do not respect and do not want in my life. He has changed into someone that I consider a creep and a sleaze...yukey words and he makes me sick to my stomach knowing about him. I am no longer where I was 3,4,5, years. The whole MLC makes the LBS change into a better, stronger person and LBS"S are much better off in alot of ways.

S32 said exMIL wanted to tell me Merry christmas and Hi!.. She is really delusional. After she called me a bitch and that I was robbing her son and took his side knowing everything I need her in my life like I still need that knife in my back. She was always a bitch to me during our marriage and now that she is lonely she thinks that I would probabaly want to be friends. She is someone that i really do not like. After all that she said and did i would like to just slap her face. But I won't given the oppurtunity I am much better than she is. His whole family took his side full well knowing what he did to me...Boggles the mind.. HEIGH HO...

I am peace with the knowlegde that OW moved in... the reality of living together is different than dating for 3 years...she won't be able to put up with his severe desire for freedom and his love for particpating in all sports. It's all about him and always has been.. I know that he still goes out and picks up women why else would he go to bars with sleezy friends? He has a girlfriend and still frequenst bars. He hasn't changed that much since MLC..

I do not know where he is in MLC or if he is still in there...would like to see him as he has gained alot of weight up to 260 S24 says...Maybe he he is out and resuming a life different than the one we had as I knew him...that is what ususally happens to them, as I understand it
Juut journaling today
ITsy