Is the answer blowing in the wind?

[Trixi]

Thanks for popping in Sara. The man that went, that listened-- THAT is the guy I love. HE is the one I hold out hope for. Like I said, I had a feeling once he saw how it worked there and how important it was for SS, that he would change his mind. Underneath his selfishness and acting out, there is a good man. Of course, if he ultimately decides he has to toss me out so he can be a rock star, then I will amend what I just said.

I told my BFF about the list and she said that she thought the order it was written in was "right" for a marriage. That without desire, attraction etc, all you have is friendship and who wants a sexless marriage? (I agree.)
She also told me she was watching a show about a gal doing a gastric bypass surgery. The H had cheated and done other hurtful things and the W had stress eaten and gained weight. The part that made my BFF think of me was when the H said that his W made him a better man and that he was glad his W had believed in him and their marriage because he would have just walked had it not been for that. And now, he would spend the rest of his life showing her how much he loved her. My BFF sees me as that W-standing even when it looks like I shouldn't. (And my H already said that I made him a better man, so I definitely see the similarities.) Having said all that--she would be my biggest supporter if I kicked him to the curb.

SS is going to have 4 days where he won't have a room at the sober living house. H said he would make sure the house was "clean". The one thing H can't control is the RM. I just got off the phone with the counselor at rehab who really wants SS to look into "couching it" at the sober living house and not take a chance going back to be around RM.

Great-now I feel "guilty" for calling the counselor to find out what the best plan of action is. I know that H sometimes feels mad that his judgement is being questioned..otoh, even he admits to bad choices in the past re SS, so......