i know this pity party needs to be over. i am just so let down, and sorry, and sad, and mad, and just...friggin everything.
Mel
(((((Mel)))))
Honey. It's okay to feel sad...and everything else. It's good to let it out. It's NOT a pity party. Sh!t you are so friggin hard on yourself. You don't need him to beat you up, you do it to yourself. Mel, you have every right to feel what you're feeling, and you need to go ahead and let yourself feel it.
You are in enormous pain. He is intentionally hurting you. It's hard to accept it when you finally realize that the man you've married would want to hurt you. He is not well, Mel. Its going to take a lot of time and work for you to concentrate on yourself...something that I imagine is long overdue. Before affairs or any of that, you have suffered from the control, from the lack of self-esteem, from the emotional battering you've taken...being told right from the beginning basically that he "had" to marry you. It's time to start healing. As awful as all of this is...it is going to be a major turning point in your life.
You are worth so much. You're a special woman. And you are going to emerge from all this horror a stronger, healthier person. I know it.
