The unfaithful wife...that's me..

[K4D]

Try and keep your chin up. Like you said, the affair probably won't last more than 6 months. After that, if you can bring yourself to be patient, he may be interested in trying to reconcile. Maybe he will have had his fill and realize that the affair was empty and realize what he really has in you.

But you have got to make sure there aren't any OM in the picture going forward. Prove to him that is a thing of the past and there were reasons that happened. But that it won't happen again. Let him see it. It takes time.

Nothing wrong with throwing a pity party now and then. I think all of us on here do. I know I do and I'm a guy. You just can't let it consume you like I have. It only makes things worse. I'd say this. If you are serious about wanting to work things out, don't mess with his retirement because that will affect you down the road also.

Give it time. Yes, he does sound spiteful right now. But probably alot of that is out of hurt more than anything and maybe some of it is the need in his mind to feel like he is gettinng even. I don't know. But let time work itself out.

Keep doing what you are doing. But don't keep letting him pull you into arguements. That just hurts things. If he can't be civil, tell him to have a good day and you will talk to him when he can. If he gets irate, hang up. That will stun him. If he calls right back, don't answer. Give him time to cool off. Don't call him back. He will eventually call you back when he has cooled and realizes that his attitude isn't going to get him anywhere with you.

This is extremely hard I know. Believe me I know. It's hell. At least he isn't going through with the divorce like my W is. That still leaves hope.

Pray about it and let God do his thing. Remember this, something I read last night, God may be saying, Not Yet. Hold off a little longer. He may have something in the works that just hasn't happened yet. I know I have to remember this. Its in his timing, not ours.

Kevin