Basically in a holding pattern right now. I took today off from work to have a full 4-day weekend. Wolfie surprised me by arranging in advance to have Labor Day off to spend with me.
Had a brief R talk on the phone the other night. I didn't bring up the issue of him blowing smoke about timing of moving home, as I figure I'll bring that up this weekend in the context of asking about fears or concerns he may have about it.
But...he did tell what a relief it has been to learn in MC and individual C that we really don't have severe R problems, in fact lot's of positives and very few negatives to work on. He also said it was a relief to learn about the stages relationships go through (over and over again). He also seems to be doing a lot of work & thinking in his IC about having been very isolated, "selfish and self-centered" before and the whole reframing of "I" thinking into "we" thinking.
Very good stuff--all of this. It really does get to the root of a lot of problems we had before.
I did tell him that I was still having problems with feeling like I could fully trust, feeling safe, believing that he was really committed.
He said he didn't think he was having any reluctance about committment.
I told him that it could very well be "my stuff" that was coloring my perceptions, and that it helped to talk with him about it. Hopefully he'll do that too so we don't get so far off track ever again.
