I'm sad, disappointed. I feel like I've failed. On the other hand, I'm relieved, and even excited, to a degree. And probably a bit of just about any other emotion you can think of.
You know what? The situation you have been living in has been very unhealthy. You both contributed to make this R as it has become but the differnce was she had checked out long time ago and was staying only because she thought there was no other choice. I can only imagine how you felt when you realised that as soon as the money issue was out the of the way, she was ready to move on...
I have no great advice, I can only say you are one of the few cases here I really really have NO doubt in my head you will be happier very very soon.
Jeff, you've learned so much here, you are so ready to give and take and enjoy a balanced loving Relationhsip. I am excited thinking how things wiil be for you once you fall in love. xxxxx K
I have no great advice, I can only say you are one of the few cases here I really really have NO doubt in my head you will be happier very very soon.
Jeff, you've learned so much here, you are so ready to give and take and enjoy a balanced loving Relationhsip. I am excited thinking how things wiil be for you once you fall in love. xxxxx K
Think only good things.
I think I may realize this too, under it all. Hence the excitement. Reading Passionate Marriage has felt like a fairy tale. But, maybe it isn't!
Dont be afraid, I realised that a breakthrough moment for me months ago was when I stopped being afraid of being alone, again I realise now fear is misleading me at the moment, I bet you feel fear about the future also. Fear of the unknown. Jeff, I can only imagine how your life will change when you will find someone to appreciate you (you really need to stop cluttering), when you will stop walking on eggshels to avoid conflicts and quarels, you will feel free as we all did when we moved out of the house of our parents for the first time...
Things will be fine! Telling the kids, not so much fun, but I think they will be ok, too. I think in the end they will appreciate it, actually. I think both of us will be happier, and that has to be good for them.
I have been getting better at not cluttering. I could have the bedroom looking pretty good in minutes, rather than hours!
I won't miss the eggshells! I think you are right. She was treating me like a step-mom might. A not nice step-mom!
Hey Jeff... wow.. I am amazed but, so relieved to hear you are ok. You always suspected she was worried about the practicalities of the situation (ok, lets call it that, and not say its money!). Well done for being brave and facing it square on this time, not letting her wriggle out of being honest, seriously.
Sounds like you had a VERY reasonable and pragmatic, sensible, unemotional discussion... and as I was reading your description, thats what struck me.. that it has come to be at that level... perfunctory, pragamatic, practical and other words begimning with P, but not... PASSIONATE. No and like Kalni says, you will be like a butterfly emerging once you do meet someone you can have a PM with one day maybe.
I guess it will be hard to tell the children, but then like you say, they will probably not be too surprised and maybe even a little relieved for you both.. the atmosphere cant have been very warm at times between you and they will have noticed that.
OH.. and you are NOT a failure !!!! You tried really hard, you just cant legislate for someones feelings changing over time, that doesnt make you a failure, you tried and really hard.. that just makes you human.
Lastly.. sorry to be a nerd, but I was thinking of you yesterday when we were all saying, just confront her.. cos of course it was that eclipse last night, very much of one of endings and new beginnings. I've seen a few stories already of things being at an end yesterday. Interesting she said she would like to move by July, as that is when the next solar eclipse is. Anyway, apologies for being nerdy.
I'm also always here for you, you have been so kind and supportive to me, there were times this time last year where I dont know what I would have done without your calm soothing advice! I am sorry you're marriage seems to be coming to an end, but I guess you are being set free and that has to be happening for a reason and can only be a good thing. (and as a nerdy astrologer geek, I can tell you, eclipses shunt you onto the right path in life..whether you like it or not)
