Trying to let go........with love!

[Silent Chrleader]

Well, when I got in my car at the park-n-ride on the way home tonight, I could tell that S17 had used it during the day. The mileage was higher (yes I check it) and it smelled like the air freshener I keep in the car (where S17 tried to cover up smoking).

I was sooooo discouraged and p.o.'d!! I came home and really lit into him. He didn't fight back. Just said he didn't have any excuse, which only got me hotter. Then I called H and told him to "talk to your son!!!!" So, then H told him that he could go live with his druggie friends who "respect him" so much! H told him he was not welcome to come live with him.

Eventually, the waterworks kicked in (I always cry when I'm upset). Then S17 and I talked more calmly. I am now going to start taking both car keys with me, which will assure this doesn't happen again.

Tomorrow, we have the session with C for all three of us to discuss S17 recent behavior. That should be just loads of fun.

I had arranged to take Thursday and Friday off from work so I could take S17 up to the dream house to play in the snow. I was allowing S17 to bring a friend and invited my step-brother who S17 really likes and is a lot of fun. Now, H is telling me I shouldn't allow S17 to go and he should stay here this weekend so H can "work his tail off". H also said I should kick S17 out, but I just don't see how that will help anything.

Tonight was also S17's sleep study at the hospital (H and I both have apnea, and we suspect S17 may have it too). So, after all the hoo-ha, I took him to the hospital for the night. He has the same technician that I worked with both times I had to stay overnight there. He's a real sweetie who has just gone through a tough divorce and we had chatted about DBing and such when I was there before. It was nice to see him again. S17 teased me that I was blushing. Both my kids often try to encourage me to date.

I'm going to go crawl into bed with my blanky, my bear and my cricket (that's my chihuahua).......