Everytime I lay my head on the pillow, a vivid memory of some horrible thing ex did or said pops up. Things that were done so long ago that I thought were long forgotten.
Buried horrors.
You guys know what I am talking about.
Those things said or done that you thought your Ml'er was never capable of doing or saying.
I don't know why this has been happening lately.
This is the 3rd night in a row of this.
Maybe the devil is at work.
Tonight I relived the moment my ex told me he was in search of a different family to love him.
He talked about my kids having a stepmother and how they would benefit in having "another mother in their lives".
Cruel
He said these things about 3 years ago.
I know all of you have your stories of horror.
I was just thinking where do all these memories go?
How can they just be forgotten.
Impossible.
Won't we carry these things with us forever?
Repressed memories, thoughts.
Will this cause us to go through mid life or post traumatic stress?
I know it is possible to forgive, but is it possible to forget?
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I believe that the memories will linger - they are part of who we are today. and I believe that with forgiveness the sting will not be as deep.
there will be times through our lives when it does come back....when we think we have forgotten all of the hurt, pain and shame and then it will happen. BUT the healing we will have gone through on the way to the memories will allow for the pain to not linger.
I truly believe that IF adn only IF we have worked through our own selves through this that we will not recover for healthy living. WE HAVE TO HEAL completely and maybe just maybe this is another attempt at your mind healing. AND REMEMBER what SATAN would use for evil GOD can use for good....even the horid memories God can use ..you know the mind it will and would like to reak havic on you... but see you know.
Think on these things: whatever is good, of good report, things that bring you joy not sorrow.
My sister has taught me through this - when my MIND does that garbage to me that i have to do the opposite. Acknowledge the pain (Dont stuff it), hear it ...and now lets walk away from it ok?
The memories flood my mind too my friend -- you know that.
sending you hugs and much much love from the warm south
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Well, i know we have all been badly hurt by WASs actions and words. Actually, I think H's words hurt me more than his actions.
But...IF we believe they are sick, possibly mentally ill during this time, or at least very lost and hurting, then we can let go, if not forget.
I have to say that while I can understand the terrible pain of seeing your WAS in church w/OW, it is good that they are there, you know? Do not let it make you bitter. I would be happy if I knew H set foot in a church.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
my x setfoot in a church - with ow before we were divorced while he was married to me -living with her. stepping in a church is not seeking God.
sorry breton - just my thoughts but too many people today "go" to church but don't WALK The WALK. How much time do they spend in the Word? Touchy subject and I wont hijack as this topic is way to "HOT".
the pain would be unbelievable... I do agree about bitterness...with all of my heart...and yes if the heart of any x is pure in motive when they are heading back to church then good... (sorry this is just a very open wound and sore subject with me.)
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
It is like if they want to get all religious, why didn't they realize that God hates Divorce.
They only follow what is easy for them. They take "bits and pieces" of god and apply it to their lives while still living in sin.
Not right.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
