Was that a speedbump or a milestone?

[forward]

Sleeper, Maybe I am slow or dumb or both, but I still think you have had a good amount of progress w/your W. You had positive exchanges there for a while. The fact that she is jealous is actually a positive.

Your wife is not indifferent to you, and that means she is not over you. I would simply ignore any and everything that she says that is blaming because it sounds to me as though what she is actually saying is "I really screwed up but I am insanely jealous that you're dating so I will yell at you because I don't know what else to do." And even if that's not it, the fact that she is opening a R talk is also not a bad thing--so it's kind of up to you where to take it, if you can. Can you calm it down a few notches and say something like "What is REALLY bothering you?"

As far as your quotation...I understand where you are; as we are in a similar timeframe I too am fed up, impatient, and tired of "standing." And I too feel increasingly detached and disinterested in H. The obstacles to reconnecting are huge and a spouse who is angry and (for me more so) disitnerested makes it seem impossible. I try not to get discouraged, but I do understand now how easy it is to become interested in someone else, because quite frankly when you have been so deeply rejected, someone else looks terribly appealing.

I'm not exactly looking to meet someone but at the same time, if someone did ask me out I think I woudl go. And maybe in our WASs lost little minds, the OP had appeal because they were lonely and as sad as we are.

It's been a long time.

BTW, my book about forgiveness made the point that it is much harder to forgive when the other person is openly UNremorseful. It's also a better, truly amazing form of forgiveness.