Nathan was horrible. I told him to get dressed, he said feed me first, I said you get to eat when you get dressed
He came unglued and was hitting me, kicking me, telling me he hates me, I am not fair, etc etc
I was late to school and when I was dropping my D at daycare (it is in a school-owned building) I ran into my boss, 15 minutes after I was supposed to be at work
When I saw her I started to apologize for running late and i started crying (she knows our situation) I told her we had told our son the night before and he was a terror this morning....she told me no problem it is ok that I was late and I could come to her office and talk later if I needed to talk to someone.
She is so awesome...
Then I went to our school counselor and talked to him this morning. He is going to pull Nathan aside today and just tell him he knows what Nathan is dealing with and that he is there if he wants to talk to someone, etc....
Yep, the really good thing about being the one who leaves is that you don't have to deal with the consequences. I think Kalni's husband told the truth about why he left, and I think it applies to Dan too. He just can't take the responsibility of a family.
Hey Bobbi, thats really sad to read, it must be so hard on you, well done for crying and being honest with your boss! I dont have children, but I can only imagine how gut wrenching it is to see your little boy suffer like that. Inevitable fall out of Dans inability to sort out his emotional issues whilst remaining in a committed M with you...such a shame that men need to go away to come back..like that Venus/Mars theory, men are like elastic bands.. they need to stretch away, isnt that it, before they snap back? If he does come back that is, as Sara says. Thinking of you,
Sweetie, I just caught up and I wanted to let you know how sorry I am that you are dealing with all of this crap and especially that Nathan is reacting like this. It's perfectly normal for him of course, but it doesn't make it any easier.
Lots of hugs, lots of understanding, and lots of together time with just you and him if you can manage it. The more he sees you and Dan together, the harder it will be for him to adjust to daddy not being there all the time. I hate to say it, but the more you and Dan do things with the kids the harder it will be if there is a D in the end.
My prayers and thoughts are with you today BBJ. You know where to find me if you need anything at all.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Since I just signed on to quick check my messages and respond to the few that were there, I didn't want to miss a chance to tell you that I think and pray about you and your family each and every day. But you knew that. That is what it is to have Christ as your 'boss'. You are kinda my sponsor family in case you hadn't figured that out a while back. Onward I go with PD.
See ya and be giving Christ your best in everything just as was done for you.
One of the saddest moments in my life was seeing the look on my daughter's face when her mother and I told her we were divorcing. My heart goes out to you and your kids. With your love and support all of you will get through this in time.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
I just spent an hour at work re-reading your posts from June/July.....it is amazing how things turned out for you. I am so impressed and I hope one day I can live that same kind of experience....
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
So, life continues to roll on....Nathan is getting better though he had one smaller outburst yesterday.
He told his best buddy Jimmy at the lunch table that his dad was getting his own house. He asked me if it was okay that he told? Poor kid, thinking he had to keep a secret...
I said you talk to whoever you want to talk to, it is okay with Mommy. He said, "Well when I told Jimmy, Natalee (classmate) said if you are getting different houses then you are getting a divorce. I told her NO you aren't, you just can't get along and have to have different houses." So I guess he does get the gist of things...
Dan was working on the tractor last night so he missed karate (something about bad gas = no ability to feed cows = draining 67 gallons of bad fuel out of the tractor). He seemed a little surprised I took Nathan anyway. It was "my" night but we agreed we would always both get to go to karate. Anyway I said since he didn't see Nathan at karate he could come over for a bit once we got home.
So he came over around 7:30 and stayed until 9. I told him he could leave before I put the kids to bed, he said thanks b/c he still had to go get a load of hay from a buddy to feed cows with.
It was strange, he was very light and jokey with me and almost flirty in his smarta$$ way. I imagine now that the kids know he is feeling unburdened, relieved....he is staying with his mom and dad instead of Tom, not sure what happened there. I think b/c the cows are at his parents it is easier if he stays there so he can feed them in the mornings instead of making his dad do it.
Poor kid, thinking he had to keep a secret...