but this fear of abandonment/feeling incabale of being loved crap...well, you know the results.... > I think the real core of our problem is that we were both wounded when we were young in ways that made us believe, deep down, that we were somehow so defective that we were incapable of being loved.
Hi Tal-I do think there are many of us here that can relate to this and I think same with my H. I had the stable family environment for the most part--but it was a functioning alcoholic environ. H's family had drugs/alcohol and it was not functioning--parents D when he was 9--he took care of younger siblings when parents weren't capable. I believe he has more self-worth problems, but being in recovery 11 years himself from his own addiction, he's worked on that a great deal--but do you ever get rid of those feelings? I, on the other hand, have not really delved into my past and the "rescuing" I'd do when dad was drunk and I felt mom needed saving--well guess what? I married a man who needed saving--so perhaps my own self-worth is based on the level of need one has of me? Lots to think of!
I really do like your insights!! Wish I could blame PMS for my meltdown last week--but sometimes they don't drop the bombs at the right time!--meltdown would have been worse if it was PMS time! he he he he!
