My plans got cancelled at the last minute, so now I'm going home w/W and I'm just so uncomfortable about that. I really don't want to spend time around her right now--it just hurts too much. I'm praying that this weekend is a good one, whatever that means.
One of my favorites is exercise. I started doing Tae Kwondo with the kids (never had done any martial arts or even thought about it!) and plan on doing that for a while. It's a great stress reliever. I bike, walk, run & play with the kids.
One of the 1st GAL things I did was audition for a musical, wound up getting too big a part for a novice, but I sang and danced which I also had never done before. Although it was crazy to do that when I had so many problems in my life, it really did take my mind off my troubles, keep me busy, and give me something to look forward to. I've gotten very active at a new church I joined and volunteer there every week. I've found volunteering has been really good. I helped to feed the homeless & poor for Thanksgiving, my 1st holiday without the kids, and it was really one of my favorite holidays. I started taking a Bible class once a week. So I think GALing can be anything. I still read a little bit, but I do find that exercising and socializing a bit is good too.
Well, don't just sit there this weekend! You need to gal. Go take a walk or bike or hike or whatever kind of exercise you like to do. Canoe, kayak, billiards, bowling, whatever. Start a good book or see a funny movie. Call up someone and make plans to do anything. If you're into church, you could go to church or visit a new church if you don't have one. Focus on you and not your W....You can do this! Start with baby steps this weekend and just plan some GAL this weekend. Karen
Thanks for that--I see that GAL can be anything and doesn't have to cost money (which I no longer have!). I do go to church (my W stopped attending our church), and this past Sunday I told my church that I want to help out, so they are going to get me involved with something. I've also begun attending a parents' community group at the church, and today I am visiting a cultural center to find out about doing volunteer work there. I excersice regulary, but that's something I've always done, so I can't count that. My weekend was peaceful, thank God. There was one moment when my W was starting to get agitated, and instead of getting into it with her I simply told her I was leaving. I went to my local Starbucks and sat there and read for about 2 hours--it was actually nice. When I got back she apologized and said she wasn't mad at me. I accepted her apology, and it was nice to not have the situation end in a big fight. All small steps I guess...
It sounds like you're actually making big steps, but small steps, any forward movement is good!!!! You handled that perfectly with the Starbucks!!!
Yeah, all the GALing I do is free like church or volunteer stuff or jogging or whatever. Good that you're keeping up with that, I def. think that is so important b/c we're under a lot of stress sometimes. The Tae Kwondo classes we take are $10 a month through our city's Park and Rec. department. They have yoga and aerobics too and eventually might do some of that too. Plus once you get known as someone willing to volunteer, I've found that you wind up with tons of stuff people want/ask you to do. I guess you get a reputation, but a good one of course!!! I can tell in your post today it sounds like you're having much better PMA and that's wonderful!!! Karen
My weekend was peaceful, thank God. There was one moment when my W was starting to get agitated, and instead of getting into it with her I simply told her I was leaving. I went to my local Starbucks and sat there and read for about 2 hours--it was actually nice. When I got back she apologized and said she wasn't mad at me. I accepted her apology, and it was nice to not have the situation end in a big fight. All small steps I guess...
You did real well keeping the situation from escalating:)It is nice when we can find something to do for a bit. Takes your mind off things if even for a short time.
It is nice to take your mind off of things. I was quite down today thinking about things and I really didn't do anything to pick myself up. But then my brother called and we just starting talking about other things and I felt better. He has a talent at doing that for me.
I think you did a great job this weekend. It takes a lot to pick up and walk away from a situation, and you did wonderful. You are showing her that you aren't interested in engaging in a fight and are taking care of yourself first. That's awesome.
Keep your spirits up, I know you will come out of this better and stronger. Family and friends are great support.
I am very down today. I feel a deep sense of loss and hopelessness. I really miss my wife and I can't stop reminiscing over old times. I feel so empty and lost in all of this, and what hurts even more is that I don't see the same sense of loss or pain in her. I guess it makes sense, afterall this is what she wants. I just don't know what to do or where I see my life going. I really miss our life together and I want it back more than anything, but I don't see that happening, at least not any time soon. I'm just feeling very down today.
Karen