"I don't wanna spend my life jaded, waiting...

[theotherhalf]

Today my focus is ALL about ME. My H has lied, disrespected, went to OW, one to many times. Somehow I found hope today in what lies ahead for me. Somehow today I realized it does not matter where I go or what I do, that I will make the best of MY life and find happiness in MY future. I almost feel I should thank him, because now all the hurt he is dishing out is just fueling my strength!

I am starting to believe that things will never change with my H. He is stuck and OW and I are just helping him stay there. I don't think he will move forward for a very long time. I cannot compete with OW. She is a repeat liar and a cheat so she understands him . She walked away from her kids and M, tore up another M before mine, so she "gets" what he is going through. They deserve each other.

I am not going to sit here and wait for him to tire of OW and come back to me. I will not be second best. She can't even hold a candle to me and if he cannot see that then he really is off his rocker and does not deserve to be with me.

I will not wait for him to put us so far in debt that there is nothing left. I will not be a fool for him any longer. I love him so very very much, I believe in death do us part, but neither of those things gives him the right to use me and tear me apart. It will not happen any more.

So this is my thoughts for today. Tonight, tomorrow, the next day, they may change, but I don't think so. I think enough is finally enough.