I mentioned my refinancing scheme last night. She didn't like it. Even if it is only in my name, she is half responsible, in this state. She said if I was going to do that that she would want a seperation agreement, since that would allow for seperate assets and debts. I wasn't thinking fast enough, I should have said, ok, let's figure it out! But, I didn't. I think rates will stay low for a while, so I may just refinance the house now, anyway, knowing that I can pull the other money out later, if I need to. I think I got her attention, just a little bit, though.
I think I am foing to ask her tonight to reread the letter, and that I would like some kind of response in the next two weeks. I think she is just hoping it will go away.
Actions Jeff, they always speak louder than words...
Did you decide whether to just book the MC appointment or not? I know she said she had other appointments to make but your MC should be just as important, if not more so...
You sound like you are doing very well yourself but she hasn't really made any efforts that I can 'see' from here. Of course I am on a tear about actions vs. words b/c of my own situation so I may be biased...
I just feel like you are verbalizing a lot of plans but I would love to see you execute some of them.
"I think I am foing to ask her tonight to reread the letter, and that I would like some kind of response in the next two weeks. I think she is just hoping it will go away."
Why not... ask her tonight to commit to a day and time to go to a MC session with you within the next fortnight, instead?? Otherwise, she will read it, maybe, another 2 weeks goes by.. you hear nothing.. you wait another 2 weeks.. ask her if she's read it.. no.. then a month has gone by and now its nearly March.
So...Be direct. Look her in the eye.. say.. W.. I would like to fix up a MC session for US ASAP.. when is a good time for you, please lets do it within the next fortnight... ???
She's not the only one that sweeps things under the carpet Jeff (*ouch!!* Sorry!) ...but you know, you got to take action, like Bobbi says (((Jeff)))
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Her deduction should not, for example, have included at least one of the kids. And you don't control how she fillss out her forms, her deductions, or how much money she makes.
She may get defensive, but you don't have to accept the blame! And you shouldn't! She needs to take responsibility for her part.
Just like you are taking responsibility for yours.
Good plan with the letter. I like Ali's idea about the MC too. Things need a little push Jeff.
We're behind you! (pushing away LOL)
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Well, I think the taxes may not be so bad. I haven't gotten the documentation yet, so I don't have S19's college expenses in yet. I don't know how much it was, but it wasn't insignificant. So that is going to help, quite a bit, I think. I hope!
Yet again the MC is going to be tricky. I want to go over and visit my uncle while my mom is there. I need to figure that out, and then see if I can get W to commit to a date the week after, which is the last week on her current schedule. I think I may bring that up tonight when I mention the letter. If she doesn't want to do it, I wish she would just say so, but we know that isn't going to happen.
