need help, sex or no sex??

[25yearsmlc]

Just noting that the term "180" us unfamiliar to you so maybe you should first read the Divorce Busting book(s). So, that puts you at a disadvantage since the DB approach is very different than most marriage counselling approaches. IT is not about why you got here (except as it helps you to solve the problems) but what you can do from now forward. A 180' is a different tactic or behavior than you've tried before. SO if you have been pursuing, maybe backing off is a good idea. But I'd urge you to read the book since it has a section on sex starved marriages and you need to read it. Seriously.
You also say two things that struck me. First, that your w has never called it making love so why is that her attitude? Does she enjoy it with you? Does she feel you are sensitive to her in bed? If not, why not?

ALso if she has always been this way, which you imply by saying she is "not romantic", then what made you think she'd change? In other words, you knew this before...so...what's up with your expectations of change?
And of course, the statement about grudges, begs the question why is she "holding onto grudges"? I mean, she has some anger and refuses to let go of something but you are vague as to what that is. I get that you didn't cheat b/c you state that part clearly, but women can be hurt by other things as well, like choosing work over family, spending money without her input, making her feel insecure, etc.

And last but not least, when you said she has never[color:#990000][/color] felt secure in the M, WOW...why would she say that? What part of this do you own?
The more you "own" of the problem, the more hope there b/c you actually control what you do, so maybe you can make some changes in you...


Can't say a lot without more info. I couldn't find your thread, so sorry for the hijack
j-