It is taking its toll on her. My forgivenss thing is working out great. I did finally realize that if you don't forgive yourself first, you cannot forgive anyone else.
Things I forgave myself for:
1. Ignoring my family for the party life. 2. Blaming myself for my W situation. 3. Not GAL'ng 4. Not taking responsibility for my own actions. 5. Blaming W for my unhappiness and happiness. 6. For wanting her back so I wouldn't be alone. 7. Hating her for not wanting me anymore. 8. For not being able to detach enough to forgive her.
I am hurting right now because of her condition. I had said I have been reading on this and all I can do is what I have been doing, watch and wait. Go on with my life, but keep an eye out. Again, she wasn't bombed or out of control. but then again, we ran out of booze. Her roomate whose house she lives in has been lying about their drinking at her house. Says they hardly ever drink at all. Not what her kids told me. but then again she swore on her grandchildren that OM doesn't sleep over htere, yeah he does...
I did get th eimpression she didn't want to leave tis weekend. She seemed comfortable. I don't think I was very hospitable to her. I mean I wasn't igorant or rude, but I think I could have treated her better. Second guessing myself. I think my heasd is clearer and my concern for her well being is greater. I know that I was nasty about her drinking and I should have come right out and said, she's a drunk and my battle is harder than ever.
