When she blasts you on this, just calmly tell her "I did what I felt I needed to do to protect myself and our family."
or
"Everything I'm doing, I'm doing to fight for our marriage and for our family."
Now, SHE will say, with 99.9% predictability, that "Well, you just BLEW any chance you had!!!" or something VERY similar. When she does, just lather, rinse, repeat:
"I understand you feel that way. I did what I felt I needed to do to protect myself and our family."
