I'm here - I only look here every few days and not on weekends.
I don't want to highjack this thread so will make this semi brief. I have a thread or two here if you want to look them up.
You did hit one area on the head - my wife says she is not and never has been secure in our marriage. I am continuing to try to remedy that but am close to feeling that can't be accomplished. I have not read the 5 love languages but have read a fair amount of other stuff. I have not and will not cheat on my wife. I have not threatened to or ever even eluded to it. However, things will change in our relationship soon especially sexually or it will be ending. Yes she's told me the reason we hardly ever have sex is my fault - and she has a list. I feel like I've done a lot of comprimising and made significant effort to meet her wants and needs but it doesn't seem to matter. She's very stubborn and very determined to hold on to her grudges and unhappiness with me. I can't make her secure in our marriage if she won't give me a chance to. I've grown tired and weary of what I feel is 80% effort by me and 20% (at most) by her. If a 180 means (I am pretty sure I understand the 180 concept) putting less effort into the marriage then yes, I've started it. We are independent people so a 180 would be to be more close relationship type stuff wise and she's made it clear she doesn't want that - she likes and wants a more seperate type relationship/marriage. I'm OK with that. Neither of us is the smothering take care of each other type. Home chores/help isn't an issue - I do more than my share and she acknowledges that.
P.S. - my wife has never been a "make love" person with me and actually disses and laughs about "making love" - it's sex. She's very "un" romantic.
