I didn't respond much to the texts yesterday. Just about the taxes and I cut that short. Didn't drive by his house once either! YEAH! It was hard to do as he lives so close, but I really went out of my way not to.
I did pass OW yesterday though. She was turning onto his street. She stared right at me with this look and a smile. Not a friendly smile either. Almost a entitlement one. It was strange. I couldn't tell if exh was with her or not. I wish I was more prepared, I think I had the deer in the headlights look on my face. Dang!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Had a not too bad day today. Son got txt from W asking if we both were alright. He phoned her as she is taking him to docs tomorrow. My heart was pounding whilst he was on the phone (I am no where NEAR detached enough yet) but I didn't ask to talk to her, nor she me. (I think we are BOTH avoiding making the 1st move)
Will tell son to tell her I was asking about her tomorrow, but that's all.
Baby was really fussy and refusing to nap. I put her in the car and drove around for awhile just to get out of the house. I drove right past exh's. Why? OW was there. Did it make me feel any better? NO.
Starting all over again.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I am considering NC with my H. Last night we got together for dinner. I thought if we did something we could avoid talking about R. He made it almost to the end of dinner when he started. I suggested we not talk now. He agreed and then kept talking. So, I tried to reason with him, and then he suggested we not talk now. And then he kept on going etc. Anyway, I wasn't very happy when we left and so I decided to end the night early. We had plans for today so I thought it would give us some time. Two minutes after I left his apt he is calling me to say that we are nowhere closer to resolving things and he wanted to cancel our plans for the next day. I just politely said that I understood and said good bye. I felt like it was the same old stuff - tit for tat. He says he wants to be with me but he keeps doing things that piss me off and when I am frustrated and tired, he gets angry and withdraws. So I got home and another usual pattern is that after a good nights sleep he calls the next morning to apologize and wants to talk about the R and reinstate our plans. After thinking last night I decided not to turn my phone on today using the excuse that he cancelled our plans and the kids can call the house phone so it doesn't need to be on. (he can call the house phone but doesn't) I will see him tommorrow at work but not looking forward to it. I am sooooo frustrated and tired. After telling me recently that he had been too stubborn about moving back while the kids were still here - he had made a decision to return and work it out. Last night he tells me that he will move back in with the kids but there has to be an end date for them to leave. Two steps forward, one back. But i also recognize what I wrote earlier about the memories. I am discouraged because I M for companionship - I had everything else. and now I don't have that.
Well, I was going to congratulate myself on a dim three days, but took S6 and D8 bowling, and you guessed it! W was there with her patient! And, of course, it was crowded, and the owner put us in the lane right next to her.
So, I ignored her mostly, she asked me a few questions about bowling and kids, and I answered and said no more.
So, I guess I will keep the 3 days, I will have to see her tomorrow night for S6's practice, but I will keep my distance.
It sounds like a good idea to go NC. All both of you getting out of the meetings are more pain and frustration. you don't appear to be achieving anything.
If something isn't working, stop it and try something else!.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I have never liked Mondays until the bomb was dropped. The weekends can sure be tough.
Well I made it through the weekend without initiating contact, but on the other hand when XW initiated contact I responded and actually prolonged it a few times. We talked on the phone Friday night for an hour or more. Slipped into R talk as well. Nothing heated, just calm talk. XW really seems to be doing well.
I really need to truely detach, that means not responding to her every txt, call, etc... But XW can sense when I detach and can play the d5 card. For instance having d5 call me to ask me to eat dinner with them.
Keep the faith!! One Goal! Thanks CZ me: 34 XW: 29 D: 5 T: 13 M:9 Dday: Sep 18, 08 joint legal and physical custody of child XW recently told me, she d me, cause she tought I would abandoned her!
