J, I read this in "Emtional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry" by Dr. Albert Bernstein. It will tell you exactly how I feel arguing with H, and the shutdown that results. "A common experience when Bullies attack is not being able to think and not knowing what to say. This happens because the parts of your brain that control thinking and language have been short-circuited. There is no greater isolation that being separated from your own mind." "A Bully assault can bypass the rational part of your brain and set you down in a prehistoric alternate reality where there are only three choices: fight back, run away, or stand still and be eaten. It's the perfect bind; no matter which one you choose, you lose. The newer, smarter parts of your brain may realize what's happening, but they're so awash in chemicals and primitive impulses that they can do nothing but watch in horror as the grim drama unfolds."
I'd say that about covers it!!
Thanks for posting that. It helps me understand why things can be so clear to me in my mind...and I know what I want to say or do "the next time" but then when it happens, it's like...
Especially when the "attack" is unprovoked. Which is generally the case.
