Letting go is very hard. Let's see how this affects him. We may never know but it is sending him a message. You are not the one making a HUGE mistake, he is.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
MWG, thanks so much for your support, I need it today...having a hard time with this.
Don't take me wrong, I don't think it's a bad decision, but I do think that he read the e-mail and just made new plans, without even minding. And I should be in a place where I don't mind if he does that, yet I'm still sad he might not mind...
mmmmm very weird, I suppose !
Thanks x
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
He will have it on his mind that day that it is his wife's birthday. He may not say anything but he will be thinking.....
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I want to tell you what my h has often told me. He said that you never stop thinking about your wife and kids.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I want to tell you what my h has often told me. He said that you never stop thinking about your wife and kids.
I hope so, I truly hope so !..............
Kids spoke to H on the phone tonight. S5 said to him out of the blue...'if ow were to die, who would you go to then?' (of course he wanted his dad to say he would come home again). Don't know what H said to him, but I heard S5 going on and on about it, then saying he thought he should come back to me. I went into the room and said to S5, 'sweety, when the ow dies, daddy will be really old, and maybe he will move into your house then ! Then you can take care of daddy and then it will be your turn to change daddy's diapers!' (we laughed a bit, and S5 told his daddy he was welcome to come live with him and he would be happy to change his diapers.... (I was just trying to change the mood of the conversation, and I think it worked. Once again, I found myself trying to make sure H doesn't think I'm 'feeding' the kids with awful ow thoughts...which I'm truly NOT).
Anyway, still no response from H about my cancelling my birthday celebration.
D7 sent him an email to ask him to join us at a chicken restaurant this Friday for her birthday, he wrote back saying he would LOVE to.
The awful feeling in my tummy has gone away, thank goodness.
sometimes this stuff is so weird and hard....
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
First, I want to wish you an early HAPPY BIRTHDAY Cinders!!!!
Second, it is hard to let go Cinders. I know because you and I are so much alike. Our spouses aren't but you and I are. We want the family together. We want our happy ending. And who knows, we may just get it.
Cinders, I think you and I need to learn to balance loving our spouses from a distance, i.e. to be loving but not expecting. They have their own lives, their own "other people" and relationships with our children that is separate from us.
They can never miss us if we are always available. Sometimes the best way to show someone you love them is to let them go completely. No expectations. No involvement. No special time together.
If there is a chance they will miss us, it certainly won't be if we are always around and available.
I need to make myself less available to my W (ex).
You are doing marvelous and don't beat up on yourself for not always doing the things that you think would help him return home. You shouldn't have to be doing anything different at all because he should be at home focusing on you and the kids. Fortunately for him and your children, you are an amazing woman with such strength and love for your family not to mention a great faith that is obvious. Hang in there. If he is a man of any substance, he will someday wake up and will ask for forgiveness.
mmf
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
Hi dear sweet friend ! Thank you for your kind words, I think you are right that you and I need to learn how to let them go completely, it will be our next phase, I pray that God will be with you to help you through it, as I also hope HE will help me through too.
Love you big bro' ! xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
