TxMom - how to get through the pain #3 post

[TxMomw/2girls]

Thanks all for your feedback...

I agree a little with all of you.

PM - I agree that I was happy to see our anniversary had an impact and he felt ok to share some of it with me. When I said I struggled that evening he said he was struggling too.... AND I do agree with your IC.. I can definitely see that my H would expect there to be no way back to this marriage with all he has done... and even if he ever thought he'd want to come back I feel he struggles with "how could we even make it work again" ... a good friend of ours said the same thing... that I'm a strong women and that my H would probably assume I wouldn't take him back and second if I did that it would be a living H@ll or we could never be able to make it good again so he'll probably keep on doing the same...

We talked that night for an hour.. the next day when I got back from my trip he was being nice and warm and not wanting to leave right when I walked in.. helped feed the girls with me... hugged me when he left.

I also agree with Superstar that my H probably is telling me his feelings to seek forgiveness or to make himself feel better for his own forgiveness or to reduce his guilt.. either way I'll never know.

All of our spouses create their own reality, they have to for survival... if they tell themselves enough BS they will start believing it and living it...

thanks again for all the support .... I've been a bad DB'er and haven't had time barely to get on and respond although I have read most of your threads...