I am trying so hard to get us unstuck from this limbo we have been in. I am still baffled as to why two people that love one another can't break down this one wall that has come between us. I keep thinking that something that I will say or do will finally get through to her and make her see how important this is for us.
Your efforts and her avoidance are keeping you stuck. As long as she is able to avoid you, and you reward her for it by continuing to try so hard... the limbo will remain.
She's not taking your hand because she feels like she doesn't deserve it. She knows she's hurting you, but she's so stuck in her own thinking that she's more comfortable with this dynamic of you chasing her than the work she knows it will take to rebuild what you once had. Your natural and instinctive desire to chase this woman who no longer desires you is working against you and makes you appear weak, scared and stupid to her. That's tragic and only feeding her need to be on the pedestal you've put her upon.
Towards the end of my marriage, everyone seemed to come down on me and it made me feel judged and broken. It's important that she knows and trusts that she has your full support and love as long as she can return it and show her efforts. It's hard to explain, but a woman in this situation will try to go along with this half heartedly as long as she can get away with it.
If there is an emotional or physical affair going on, she will have to completely end it. It's easy to assume she's not interested in sex because she's not interested in it with you... don't be fooled.
