Truly letting go is so very hard. Indeed it is BND....everytime I think I am there, I notice there is even more room to let go.
Making sure that we are not allowing ourselves to manipulate a situation is also difficult. YES !!!! I often do things and wonder why I'm doing it...whether it's to please myself or to disturb the relationship between H and ow...sometimes it's hard to feel the difference
It is good you are recognizing the reasons for your actions. I think I always have, but maybe now I'm daring to say it out loud...
Make sure that uninviting him to your birthday is truly what you want and not about punishing him. And this is where doubt sets in....if I imagine him coming over, I imagine us as good friends having a really nice meal together with the kids, then I think to myself...'cinders', you know it will be a 'fake' as H is with ow and has no intentions of coming back.
You really will get it, it all just takes time. Time, time and time.....
You are still going through the motions, and the grieving process. Yes I am. It all takes time, time, time...
He keeps you hanging on because it is convenient for him. That is what that friend told me too...that H has the best of both worlds. (Difference to cake eating...)
He has not filed for a Divorce for a reason. convenience....and he's afraid that if he dies, the kids will be left with nothing, this way feels safe for him.
BND, I'm not sure that cancelling his visit on my birthday was the right thing to do...but I allready sent the email. I guess this letting go or breaking with them is extremely scary.
Thanks for your great advice ! xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
