My worst fears confirmed! Wife having EA/PA...

[Vdad]

Puppy,

The blocking is a temporary thing to stop the connection if only for a moment until I can communicate with her on the other part of it. I need a break from the contact until I can grab a hold and force some choices.

I don't want to control anything with her ultimately however some boundaries need to be put in place. I will tell her what you spoke of above..

Children are SD15, S12, S9, S7.

OM is divorced, and supposedly an old friend from HS before it went out of control. I was actually supporting the friendship for her until I found out about the EA.

On another note, here is a note from a Christian brother, what do you think?:

"A separation is a bad idea. It will only lead to divorce. She wants a separation because she wants to go out clubbing, hook up with her other man, and not have to come home to you after wards. She doesn't want you to know what is going on.

DO NOT LEAVE THE MARITAL HOME! If you do, plan on being a Tuesday and every other weekend dad and being locked out of your home for good.

If you want to recover your marriage you need her to cut all contact with the other man, and you need to spend MORE alone time together to reconnect. Separating will only allow you to further withdraw from each other.

She is an active wayward spouse. Just think back to all the lies and sneaking around you did when you were still actively wayward. She is in the same mindset currently. Just think, if you were living on your own while you were having your affair, and the other woman came into town, don't you think you would have hooked up with her at your place? Your wife might never have found out. That's what your wife is currently thinking. Don't let her manipulate you with statement's like, "I won't divorce you now if you agree to separate for now while I sort some things out." That is pure manipulation, and the only thing she wants to sort out is her relationship with the other man. You know, you were just a wayward spouse.

You just say that you know that you CAN put your marriage back together, it's just a matter of doing the right things to reconnect, and you will do whatever it takes to make that happen for her and the family. When she says separation, you say that you've talked to a marriage counselor and he recommended against that because it almost always leads to divorce. It's true, it's not just me saying it. Look it up for yourself. Also, the drinking with her girlfriends all the time and contacting OM has got to stop. Don't let her walk all over you."

Trying to make a plan...