Well, I talked to S13 last night a little bit and he is okay with how things are. He is sad, but wants to stay there. I don't blame him. He is 13 and it is his choice and I will respect that. They have a good relationship but they are 9 years apart. In five years, he would be moving out to go to college or be on his own, anyway. They have been living apart (the kids) for the last six months and they seem to be doing okay with it. She is a good "only child" and he was used to being and "only child" for nine years before she came along anyway. He was fine with her the first two years but now she's getting aggravating to him a little so at times it is probably a relief to not have to have her around.
lmao. MIL tells me last night that H was always the "pouty" kid. So I can imagine that yeah, whenever he threw a tantrum, he got his way and that is what he is doing now. And with them it still works. Because if she shows up with OW again at their house, they are so glad to see HIM that they will put aside their feelings about her. They are so glad to see HIM, that they will put aside their feelings about them sleeping in the same room. My parents would have told me "don't come home again til you can act right."
His parents aren't strong enough to do that.
I know I will have to see him today to drop off DS and that he will tell me that nothing is going on, and I don't know what I will say in response. Probably just "okay. have a nice day." and go on. I don't know. Agree, BA, that it is just out of spite, though, and payback. Do I really want to be married to someone who does things just for "payback"?
Right now, I feel like everything he is going to try to do and say, is just to protect his precious career. I'm not sure what effects a No-Contact order would have on his career. He just hit 15 years in December. Doubt they would kick him out because of it, but I'm not sure. Guess I'll call base legal tomorrow and find out, just so I know. I bet he does call the counselor and make and appt. I imagine he'll prolly kick OW out now, depending on how unsure he feels about whether I file a complaint or not. I've thought about threatening to file one if she's not out by xxx day. Like Friday. That way he understands. At that point the marriage has to be totally over because there will be no coming back from that. But then, is there any coming back from this???
I may have had an A, but I sure as heck didn't take him home to Momma and Daddy and let him sleep in the bed that I had only ever shared with my wife. I'll never sleep in that bed again. And I didn't take him home and take him out with all my friends at home either. How do any of us move on from that?? I feel like "Well, at least I didn't move OM in and parade him around in front of my friends and family as your replacement." I know that's wrong, to feel that way. Two wrongs don't make a right, but he's crossed so many lines, whereas I only crossed a few. Big ones, mind you, but still. Home to Mom and Dad??? WTH???
Mel
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
