After three years of mostly being pliable, weak, needy, and WUSS-like, it feels good to stand my ground for what is right when I am dealing with my XW and her whims.
I like what you said 'her whims'. Bzzzzzt! She doesn't have that privilege to ask you for that.
Quote:
I told XW this in no uncertain terms when we first separated, and then like a wussy, I behaved kept doing 'friend' things with her, in direct contradiction to my true feelings that I have already expressed to her. I am disgusted with myself for being such a wuss for 3 years and deluding myself that I was acting this way because I wanted to spend more time with our children. I was lying to myself. I wanted to be with her, and it ended up being on her terms only.
'nuff said. So many of use did the exact same thing you did.
Leave out the 'disgusted' part. It doesn't work. Instead, perhaps you might choose 'amazed at how I was so easily duped'
Then, change it.
Quote:
I feel my march moving in a different direction now. I am for ME! I am for my MARRIAGE! I spent the past 3 years behaving for XW instead. Are there any courses in kicking one's own a$$ for behaving so stupidly in their own sitch.
Yeah, it's called "Db'ing" for yourself. For your survival. For your better good. Ya Think?
{quote]Oh well, that was then and this is NOW! I understand that my marriage is unlikely to ever reconcile, [/quote]
This is irrelevant. Instead, you might choose to 'understand' that YOU are likely to grow and learn and be a damn great father, and PARTNER in a relationship that doesn't require you to give up who YOU are.
Get it?
Quote:
In closing, thank you to everyone here for listening to my rants and watching my make ALL of the DB mistakes and fall on my face repeatedly. I appreciate your comments, encouragement, advice, admonishments, sharing your sitches so that I can learn more about myself in my sitch. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Mostly though, I appreciate my friendship with frank_D. He is a good man, a good friend, and he hits me hard with the truth in a way that resonates strongly with me. Thank you, Frank.
Goodnight.
Sounds like a bad 'Saturday Night' 'World news' skit. Lot's of BS that ends in 'Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow'
I hate it when I myself act this way. How do you feel?
