Brought tears to my eyes too. I know my H feels awful everytime he sees me - sees the kids - visits the house... he made for some terrible memories and while we all have a hard time -I think it is easier in some ways for us than for him. H found religion which is helping some - being alone is great for him - no pressure - no memories - but no me. I can feel it every time we are together and I have stopped saying anything about it - he brings it up. Tonight at dinner he told me that he is afraid of returning home - getting stressed out and drinking again out of control, and being kicked out. There is nothing I can do about that - it is up to him to learn that he could handle things differently - but he doesn't know that yet. In the mean time I have a hard time dealing with my own feelings about the stuff that happened and not feeling "rejected" because it is more peaceful being alone than having to face the memories. I can't do this anymore tonight. Will check in tommorrow - I feel like giving up.
