I think it usually does more harm than good. The OP, they don't care about you. they are as selfish as your spouse has become. they only care about themselves and this "love" they have found. I think my contacting OW only made ex want to "protect" her more. Time doesn't count for anything. All of our happy years were rewritten to be horrible. Don't do it to yourself.

kat

Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory