Organizing my Life

[BeingMe]

Thanks everyone. I am scared, but it's the type of scared you have just before the rollercoaster takes off. I am almost excited because this could mean the end of the seizures and that would be awesome. I was in a bit of shock on Thursday, but mostly past that, I think, although I could be fooling myself.

Anyway, I appreciate all the prayers and positive thoughts coming my way, especially for my family.

And now, the big questions --- how to DB when there are major health issues??? How to handle a M that's not quite in balance while going through the stresses of other issues outside the M????

H is being supportive, as much as he can seeing that he is away all week. I still doubt his loyalty and love and feel he is being as supportive as he would be of any family member. I don't think I'm anyone special to him --- no more special than a beloved cousin or sister. I wish it were different, but nothing much has changed since the initial return to the M. I don't know what else I can do. He cries when I have a grand mal seizure and my D16 holds him back because there is nothing one can do (and her and S21 are the ones dealing with this during the week). But, he is the same, mostly, at other times. So, it's just because he sees someone in pain, which is such a nice trait. But, I don't think he loves me any more than he did 4 years ago. Perhaps I am wrong, and he just doesn't know how to show it, but I doubt it.

Oh well, we are a family and we are all on this journey as such --- for now. Once this hump is crossed, then I will see what I want to do about it, if anything.

Again, thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. I really do appreciate them, and I do believe prayers are heard, and it's all in God's hands.

Take care.