i have been in a funk for awhile now. i don't know how to explain it--i hate to say this but i could really care less about my husband. i have no feelings toward him, i just want to sit him down and make him shut up and listen to ME and tell him all the things that have happened since all of this mess but i won't do it. i don't want to see him, i don't even want him near me because every time i see him, in my head are visions of him with a man (yes, she looks like a man!).
really, i am that numb toward him and honestly, it would take a lot for me to get those old feelings back.
Try as I do, I cannot understand you or your thought process. You have battled so hard for your marriage and have put up with things I and many would have never stood for. Now when it seems the tide has really turned in your favor, you don't care anything about him. In saying that I don't blame you feeling that way, problem with people who go through this is they hurt thier LBS so bad and treat them so terribly that there is no way the LBS would even consider trying to work it out if and when there was an opportunity to do so. I think you really need to sit down and think everything out and decide if you want to continue doing what you are doing or cut him loose and start over. There has been plenty of time since he left for you to decide if it will ever be as good or better than it once was. One other thing MWG, its great to have a tremendous faith in God, he truly can move mountains and make miracles, but he put us on the earth and gave us the ability to think and make choices. The Bible clearly says that man has the choice to follow God or not. So is it true in all decisons in life. You can ask God for help, but at the end of the day, you and your husband will make the choices.
