we had the meating on friday. it was hell. sitting next to her felt so right. we talked a little before the lawyer got us and I can see now she that her view is i was a verbal abuser just after we wer married. she said i always raised my voice and she wont pick up with that. this is not a new quote of hers but i can see now that she truly feels this way. and non of my efforts of kindness or quiet calm action would change her mind. at the end I walked her to her car and told her we have a 120 days to stop this if SHE wants to. I cried and told her I was truly sorry and I whish she would see me as I am , and not as I was. She said she has a lot to think about and have me a hug and left. I was crying like a baby and I loved that hug more then anything else in the world...but i am 99 % sure it meant nothing from her then a consolation. I am fine away but to see here means pain. that is the hard part.
