TOH, You are doing very well....no initiated contact for 12 days! That's a great start.
It was nice that your h came over and plugged the tractors in. He had every intention of returning, but something may have come up and that's why he didn't return. Keep in mind, they get distracted very easily when in crisis. Keep the expectations at zero no matter what.
As for filing...that's something only you can decide. I suspect you are just having some moments and may just be thinking about it. I bet tomorrow, you'll be right back here saying that you are going to continue standing. TOH, whatever you opt to do, we are all here for you.
Stay warm!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
