Thanks everyone. I am scared, but it's the type of scared you have just before the rollercoaster takes off. I am almost excited because this could mean the end of the seizures and that would be awesome. I was in a bit of shock on Thursday, but mostly past that, I think, although I could be fooling myself.
Anyway, I appreciate all the prayers and positive thoughts coming my way, especially for my family.
And now, the big questions --- how to DB when there are major health issues??? How to handle a M that's not quite in balance while going through the stresses of other issues outside the M????
H is being supportive, as much as he can seeing that he is away all week. I still doubt his loyalty and love and feel he is being as supportive as he would be of any family member. I don't think I'm anyone special to him --- no more special than a beloved cousin or sister. I wish it were different, but nothing much has changed since the initial return to the M. I don't know what else I can do. He cries when I have a grand mal seizure and my D16 holds him back because there is nothing one can do (and her and S21 are the ones dealing with this during the week). But, he is the same, mostly, at other times. So, it's just because he sees someone in pain, which is such a nice trait. But, I don't think he loves me any more than he did 4 years ago. Perhaps I am wrong, and he just doesn't know how to show it, but I doubt it.
Oh well, we are a family and we are all on this journey as such --- for now. Once this hump is crossed, then I will see what I want to do about it, if anything.
Again, thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. I really do appreciate them, and I do believe prayers are heard, and it's all in God's hands.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Being Me, I too will remember you in my prayers. My advice is don't DB right now, deal with your health issue. First things first. Keep in mind what H is doing for you, don't analyze his commitment etc right now. When we're under stress we can make all sorts of what may be faulty reasoning seem plausible. I know when I'm down with a cold or the flu somehow it seems like the right time to navel gaze about my life and it always seems sh!tty somehow! Who'd of thunk it But when I'm on the mend much of what I saw so negatively before just takes on a whole new light. Now, I know you've had these ideas about hubby before, they aren't new but now is not the time for analysis etc, now is the time to take care of you and get rid of these darn seizures. Go with that for now, it's enough!
Beingme ..what is the prognosis with your brain "shadow"?
My darling just had to get her brain MRI's and CT scans done again. She was diagnosed with what was believed to be a chordoma of the clivus region of the brain 8 yrs ago.
I agree, Wii. I should just concentrate on getting better. Phoenix, I also think it may be related to stress. Thanks for your well wishes, Tomato. The docs don't know what this thing is, so I hope there will be some clarification once the biopsy has been completed and the tests done which could be up to a month from now.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I am home from hospital ... yay! There was a visible something that the surgeon removed, so that's always a good thing. Physically I'm okay. Spiritually good. Mentally exhausted. My left eye is swollen so difficult to type.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
But when I'm on the mend much of what I saw so negatively before just takes on a whole new light. Now, I know you've had these ideas about hubby before, they aren't new but now is not the time for analysis etc, now is the time to take care of you and get rid of these darn seizures. Go with that for now, it's enough!