Standing on the Edge

[native]

So I made the mistake of calling WAS just to talk. We used to talk so much, so easily.

She was confused as to the reason that I called. She was also clearly irritated. 'Don't you know how hard this week has been on me ?'

yeah, yeah...but I don't know if I care anymore.

People have told me I have acted honorably in this situation. I know I can sleep at night without guilt that I did not do everything in my power to extend the olive branch to her.

If it wasn't for my daughter, I could leave W behind so fast. I have never been treated with such disrespect as she has treated me in the last year. But I am holding on for my daughter.

There has never been a divorce in my family, other than my mother's brother.

We just don't do divorce. We were raised to be faithful and to take responsiblity for our actions.

My brothers and I are not perfect, but we know what is right from wrong.

I am having a hard time with the notion my beautiful bright little girl is going to suffer because of this sometimes fragile, sometimes hateful woman.

I love both of them. I feel these are the dying gasps as I say goodbye to our family.

I want to start over again, when I accept the possiblity that she may not turn around. At other times I just can't accept defeat.

I've stopped wearing my ring. Not wearing it feels wrong, but as long as I do, she won't think I am moving on.

I am sick of all her disrespect.

I'm rambling here.....

I'm not perfect, but it doesn't seem fair !