You posted to me about a different subject and I appreciated your response. I think you can be a very level headed person. I just found this thread and read about your stitch. I am so sorry to hear how things have gone. First, let me say it took courage to tell the truth and take responsibility. Second, we have a lot in common when dealing with AA H's - I hear you taking respons. but is he? I doubt it if he is drinking. Alcohol and M have a unique road - and certainly much difficulty. To keep things short for tonight -there is so much to say but I wont' yet- his drinking is in the way of reconciling. It is his way of coping - poorly- but that is what he knows when he is in pain - but that does not mean you have to be the target of his anger either. You may have done wrong - but he had the choice to deal with it maturely and he doesn't have the skills to do that. My guess is that he has long history of pain long before knowing you - your job -take good care of yourself - give him time to recover - his time - you hurt him now you have to let him take his time in recovery. I think you can count on him coming back and working on things. What you see and hear is the a-fog and pain mixed. Don't take it personally - this is his' pain not your's. One of the things I do recommend from alanon is to learn how to take care of yourself emotionally and practice detachment. I do not go to alanon - tried but found it too hard and depressing. But I read the literature. I could go into a discussion about the difference between an addiction and a problem - but whatever it is -it's still a problem that needs to be addressed. You can't address it =only he can. Will stop here. Can't send enough hugs to you for going through it. I am here and I will support you.
