I got another miracle-- in that my M is surviving longer than I thought it could. AND it Might even make it all the way. If you read my posts 2 years ago, (which you did, Frankd) you'd know something 'magical' or "highly unusual" happened to me and my family. Major Revelations, "aha" moments, whatever. I think it was holy b/c that's how it felt to me. So I call it a miracle. Call it what you want. Just be open to having one of your own. Please. For your daughters at least, open to that possibility.
What happened to you?
I will, for my Daughters.
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NOW--RE: WIfe's actions---
Although parts of your w's behavior and comments bother me as they do others, think about the fact that she is trying to help you and your daughter. She surely sees it that way, and from other things she's saying and doing, I tend to believe that.
Yeah, I can see that she thinks she's 'helping me' but she wants me out of the house eventually. Not going to happen but it shows me her intentions.
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You know, you could use this as an "opportunity". She'll be able to see your changes...IF you make them. Get the help from professionals, not w or your daughters. It is not their job to get you well. It isn't. Too much has been written about what your w was supposed to do for you when you were miserable and that somehow, her "lack of support" lead you to drink. You can't blame your drinking on other's and expect the drinking to change.
No, I can't blame others. And, this is not an 'opportunity'. She clearly doesn't want me around if she had her choice.
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No stigma attaches if you don't let it. I know employers who look for people in recovery programs with some time under their belt. When I meet someone who has been in recovery for say, over 2 years or so, I know I'm probably dealing with someone with integrity, honesty and insight and am usually inclined to deep friendships with them. We don't waste time on superficialities, and instead form meaningful connections. You'll find a lot less loneliness in a program. Best, hardest thing I ever did.
I understand. I guess I need to find the right group. Any suggestions?
