The unfaithful wife...that's me..

[25yearsmlc]

Good for you seeing what he has contributed to the m. Sometime, someday maybe soon maybe not, you can thank him for that. Not in a way that takes from you, but in a way that shows you see him as a decent guy in several ways.

If he brings up stuff that is true for him and makes him look good, validate it and say 'yes you did help provide for us, and supported my career and I want to thank you for that." Maybe add that "It made the many moves or the geography of where we were, easier to deal with. Also thanks for helping more with the house and d4. Glad you are enjoying being a good dad" etc...(only say it if it's true for you).

But focus on how you guys are interacting now, and what you think can happen going forward and from what we are seeing, it's clear you need to do what you are doing. Go dark except for d4 and keep your distance. This isn't all about getting the M restored, it's also about getting you healthy and safe emotionally. Do what you have to do...for you. Then worry about H and whatever the hell he's going to do/think/feel, etc. And keep the conversations short and about her...what else is there to discuss, given him wanting out? Again, why is he going to marriage counseling if he wants out? I still don't get it.

(( j ))

PS wish you could tell me how the heck to get a teaching job now! I have a doctorate in law (practiced for 20+ years) and am making the career change, but they make it so complicated...getting different answers from different people depending on whom I ask. FIrst woman said "you have to have a master's degree". I said, "I have a doctorate". She said, (I swear), "you have to have a master's" So I said, "well a doctorate is higher" and she could not...compute my response....anyhow....I digress. Meanwhile, I can walk down the street and teach at a college at least part time, starting tomorrow. But high school? You'd think it was NASA...I'm referring simply to the application procedure and what exactly you need. Go figure.