Ok - I have been in your W shoes. EXACTLY the same. BUT I lied for the next few years about the PA. H always felt he did not have the truth so he persisted in going over and over about the A, he left home everything.
Then I told him the truth and that did end my M
Reasons i lied.
1. I was not sure he would of gotten over the PA - he promised he would and he was wrong. his reasons - it was the lying for so long that ruined the M. He is most probably right .
2. I hated that I did it and I wanted it all to go away. I did not want h feeling horrible about me. i felt horrible about me - although the lying was probably most of that bad feeling.Because once i told the truth , the weight lifted of my shoulders, I owned up to my wrong. So the bad feelings went. H had the truth to do with as he felt like. I also was no longer sharing a secret with OM which was very good for H to know.
There are other reasons
What i am saying to you, is to get the truth or get to a place where you believe your W otherwise your M will be horrible for everyone. There will be so much damage done in the future years if you dont have the truth. It will be very hard for your wife and I understand her reluctance if she is lying.
Big thing is that she stops with OM. You need to be sure that that is happening. she has to be an open book. I hope you do have the truth.
