I agree with Jack. The double benefit of getting the focus on you and off of her is that it takes the pressure off of her, and she therefore doesn't feel the need to rub your nose in her unhappiness.
The one exception to this is living together, during which I sometimes think just the mere presence of you there can sometimes cause them to spew.
But for the most part, if you take care of yourself, you not only feel better for having taken care of yourself, but you've given her no reason to go off on you either.
Win-win.
Not many of those in these situations.
What you've been doing is something like trying to fix the roof on your house DURING a hurricane.
Let the storms die down.
Time for fixing later.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
That is some great advice from Bill and Jack, they have an uncanny ability to cut through the bull and give you a straight answer, they have gone trough the fire , I at times tend to see things differently because I am still caught up in all the same things you are, but at a more advanced stage. That is why this site is such a great source, you get views from many different perspectives.Take it to heart, we all care about you and want you to succeed , with or without your wife.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
ral, I'm going to back up to the comment by your W about every time you touch her it leads to sex. Is that a true statement?
My H and I used to always be touching, holding hands, sitting close with our legs touching or hands resting on each other. He initiated it mostly, and I loved it. We got so busy with life and it got less and less. It got to the point where I felt that the only time H touched me it would lead to sex. I said that to him once, and coincidentally within weeks he was in an EA ..... and here I still am.
What about you and your W? how was your touch life?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
