Talked to my mom today and youngest son told Mom that EX is getting fat again..up to 260.. I think that he is waking up finally he lost all his weight during MLC almost developed diabetics he went so far.
he stays at home more that he did when he was MLC...he was all over the state and others during MLC
He was out making new friends and hanging out and going to parties bars etc...quieted down looks like...
I would still like to initate contact but feel that I am not ready yet relearning DBING tactics again...going over how to have conversations with "I" statements and what I will and will not tolerate from him should contact be made by him...I have gut instinct that he will initate contact this year..nad I want to be ready..I have come so far in my journey with MLC and finding myself again.
I have finally given forgiveness to myself that released anger and dislike towards him.. I don't know how much that I forgive him...I always looked at MLC as a emotional crisis that was stunted in their developemental years as a child brought on and encouraged by his family. He is the good son ...I beleive in that theory.In forgiving him I did it for myself and I feel better in so many ways. I know that I forgive him for the MLC because I beleive in the emotional crisis that they are going thru. I don't know that he has developed new ways to handle his emotions, and if he has are they the right ones. I pray daily to God that he will guide me in this endeavor my want, to contact to see where Ex is, but dbing says that they will contact you..so I will wait.. I beleive that he is waking up and so want to know if he is...I wonder too if I am making thhis up in my own mind...My wanting him. He is a Alpha male and Since I always said that no talking and contact would be the way I would go I know that he won't contact me..he's too much of a male and lives by that statement that I gave at the end of the seperation...I was upset and hurt then and i'm not now..I have moved along
I wish I knew what to do I analzye too much I think. I found the letters that he wrote me and reread them and I have become what he wanted me to be before he left....Therefore at times I wnat to make contact and let him see the changes in me...wishful hoping i think... If anyone can respond i would be very thanful for a response.. The children are all coming tonight for dinner maybe I will ask for their imput.. ITSY
M54 H54 married 30 years Prostitues and Other women "100's" 10/7/2004 Prostitue/Junkie girlfriend 6/04-1/07? Left 1/5/05 returned 1/9/05 Asked h to leave 4/2005 Had to, prostitues OW 5/2005 not a prostitue Divorced 9/2006
